Genuinely Loving is hard!

Here's my thoughts as I read Romans 12:9-18Genuinely love one another!This is something I struggle with. Loving someone genuinely...how do you do that? It's easy to love someone that is nice or helpful or has beauty but what about someone who is mean or rude or doesn't have a pleasant odor! How is it possible to love then? Choosing to love one another is hard...sometimes! I remember a hard moment I was having with my mom, who was terminally ill. She had become what I thought was bitter and rude but looking back she was still the very same stubborn person I knew and loved. We were having a pretty difficult day and she was not allowing me to help her...pushing me away, yelling, looking at me with disgust! So finally I told her with my hands thrown to the ground "you are making it hard to love you!" what a statement to say. How could that be possible? I already loved her. Why did I allow my thoughts go pass my lips? Why did I feel that I could unlove her? Was I only pretending to love her? She was just as surprised by my comment, as I was, that I could actually say that to her, out loud! Romans 12:9-10 convicts me always! I don't want to just pretend to love people, I want to love them! I want to be able to deny myself in order to love someone else. I want to be able to see a person and genuinely love them the same way Jesus sees me and LOVES me! I regret that moment I had with my mom because I hurt her feelings. But what the enemy doesnt want me to remember what took place after that day...God gave me many more days with her. Days filled with silly laughter, days filled with naps together, nights of watching Emit Smith on Dancing with the stars. days of her listening to me sing Grease lightening for the thousandth time. Days filled with love. Often times I forget about my victories and only focus on my struggles. Thank you Jesus that there is no condemnation for those who are in you. And thank you for your Grace in reminding me of our victorious future. Lord help me to love like you love. Fill me with more of you everyday. Give me your eyes so that I can see what you see. Forgive me Father. Help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get irritated.

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Photography

For as long as I can remember I have been fascinated with photographers.  There's something about a person holding a camera, whether it's a little child holding a play camera, a mother whipping out her point and shoot to capture her child doing something "pretty amazing" to a professional with all their lenses, flashes and all the other gizmos and gadgets they lug around.  To be able to capture a single second in someone's life is amazing to me.

I remember the first camera I got as a kid...it was a polaroid!  My first subject was of my sister in our front yard.  Waiting as the colors slowing populated the little film.  Oh I forgot to mention how I had to shake it too!  (shake it like a polaroid picture)  hahaha  To see the moment actually coming to life on a little square piece of paper brought excitement to two little Kaneohe girls.

see i'm sleeping!

I've never been comfortable in front of the camera.  Most pictures of me end up either looking as if I'm stiff, fake smiling or sleeping.  Watching celebrities on the red carpet trips me out...they don't blink!!!  Some pose then look down or to the side then once they look up again they keep their eyes open.  Even with all those flashes....I wish I could to that.  Now behind the camera is fun!  I wouldn't say I'm any better at being behind the camera than in front but I feel more comfortable when I'm trying to capture a moment rather than being the moment.  I wouldn't say that I have an eye for photography either but I will say, that when I'm holding a camera most of my photos will be over exposed, out of focus, too close and down right terrible.  However, every once and awhile, I will find a gem of a photo and just be amazed that my eye actually captured it.  Maybe I'm being a little hard on myself...maybe not!  We are our own worst critics, right?!

I've recently left Facebook for another social networking site, it's called Instagram!  If you have an iphone, love photography and can't or won't keep up with all the workings of fb, get Instagram!  It's a fun way to share your photography skills or in my case, my lack of photography skills in a non creepy way!  Have you every heard of Facebook stalking?!?

This weekend will be a little interesting.  I've been asked to be an assistant to a photographer for a fundraiser event.  I'm hoping, well, more like praying that God gives me his strength and his creative artistic ability to be able to get some good shots.  It should be somewhat simple...I hope!  My instructions were, one, take as many pictures as possible and two, of everything!

Great!  I think I can do that!