Genuinely Loving is hard!

Here's my thoughts as I read Romans 12:9-18Genuinely love one another!This is something I struggle with. Loving someone genuinely...how do you do that? It's easy to love someone that is nice or helpful or has beauty but what about someone who is mean or rude or doesn't have a pleasant odor! How is it possible to love then? Choosing to love one another is hard...sometimes! I remember a hard moment I was having with my mom, who was terminally ill. She had become what I thought was bitter and rude but looking back she was still the very same stubborn person I knew and loved. We were having a pretty difficult day and she was not allowing me to help her...pushing me away, yelling, looking at me with disgust! So finally I told her with my hands thrown to the ground "you are making it hard to love you!" what a statement to say. How could that be possible? I already loved her. Why did I allow my thoughts go pass my lips? Why did I feel that I could unlove her? Was I only pretending to love her? She was just as surprised by my comment, as I was, that I could actually say that to her, out loud! Romans 12:9-10 convicts me always! I don't want to just pretend to love people, I want to love them! I want to be able to deny myself in order to love someone else. I want to be able to see a person and genuinely love them the same way Jesus sees me and LOVES me! I regret that moment I had with my mom because I hurt her feelings. But what the enemy doesnt want me to remember what took place after that day...God gave me many more days with her. Days filled with silly laughter, days filled with naps together, nights of watching Emit Smith on Dancing with the stars. days of her listening to me sing Grease lightening for the thousandth time. Days filled with love. Often times I forget about my victories and only focus on my struggles. Thank you Jesus that there is no condemnation for those who are in you. And thank you for your Grace in reminding me of our victorious future. Lord help me to love like you love. Fill me with more of you everyday. Give me your eyes so that I can see what you see. Forgive me Father. Help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get irritated.